Gary has just put on his blog a post about names and how they place us in society. http://www.garytwynam.com/writing.html. Such synchronicity! For I have been musing upon names over the past couple of months. How do we do this when living several counties away and communicating almost entirely by Facebook message? And even then all we talk about what Amazon ranking the book has achieved (5300ish at the moment, since you ask). It is weird and quite satisfying at the same time.
Anyway, the reason names have been much in my thoughts over the past couple of months is because my son went off to university in October announcing that he was going to abandon the (oh so carefully chosen) name we gave him at birth. It was too different, he said. People always commented on it, said it wrong, wondered where it came from. He was fed up with all that so he was changing it.
I jumped in, metaphorical fists flying (always the action before the thought, me) and told him in no uncertain terms that I wasn't going to change the name I call him, whatever other people did. He was very reasonable and just shrugged, 'I didn't think you would' was his simple reply.
Part of my dislike of his changing his name is that he said it was different. Damnit! Well, that's part of the bloody reason we chose it in the first place. My own name is different, and I positively like that. When I was at secondary school there were 5 Karens in my class alone and then there was me. Thank god I'm not a Karen, I used to think smugly to myself, I'm different. Even if practically everyone I meet cannot say my name correctly. "Kar-in" I say, "hello, Karen" they reply to my face.
What has made it more difficult for me is that Malin chose Christian, one of his middle names, and is now Chris. Whenever he pops on Facebook or twitter it gives my heart a jump - my brother who died several years ago was called Chris and they now have the same name.
Upon further thought, I realised that name-changing is common in my birth family. At 11, my dad announced he was no longer to be known as Pants (a diminutive of Anthony - his real name, which nobody had ever called him) and was thenceforth to be known as John. Pretty understandable really, who wants to go to big boy school with a name like Pants? My grandparents, in a much more understanding way than me, obliged with his request and he has been John ever since.
When I think of my own reaction to Malin's choice, I'm slightly ashamed. He's his own person, why shouldn't he choose his own name? My whining answer every time I talk about it is 'but it's such a nice name and it suits him and it took us so long to find a name that fitted.'
These aren't the only instances of name-changing in my family. My mum changed her name to Grace when she was in her sixties (I think) because she felt she was a different person to the one who had been called Jacqueline, and now introduces herself as Gracie. This is okay for me, of course, because I can still call her Mum.
I've also had a couple of comments about the name Ruth, 'my' character in Farewell Trip. Apparently, there are people out there who don't like it and don't mind telling me so. Well, I have to say that when they do I feel like I would if someone had said, upon hearing my new baby's name, 'oh, I don't like that very much.'
Well, bog right off right now, if you please, and don't return until you have developed some politeness. My character, my name choice and it has nothing whatsoever to do with you!
It seems likely that people will feel the same about the names in our new venture. I was going to keep them under wraps, but maybe telling you them will allow you all to become accustomed to their difference...
Eddie Brean AKA Alex Little and Eileen Marshall.
