Thursday 29 August 2013

Literary Agents

From time to time you see items in the media about companies sending incredibly crass letters to their customers. You know the sort of thing – the letter addressed to a Mrs Malone (Deceased) asking for 11p in unpaid premiums. And I haven't plucked that example out of thin air. I sent it back in the late 80s when I worked as an administrator for an insurance company.

I say this because we have been receiving a number of rejection letters from literary agents. These have come from agents of all size and stature - from uber agents and their minions; from small boutique agents specialising in that personal touch; from whey-faced interns fresh out of Oxbridge face down in a slush pile in a darkened basement. All of them as seemingly disconnected from the end-user as I was all those years ago as a dead-eyed processing clerk.

At least, that's how it feels. As part of our covering letter we mention that Karin has second-stage breast cancer. This seems a relevant fact to disclose, given that the novel itself is about terminal cancer. We also mention it because, in a somewhat ghoulish way, it makes the novel a more commercial proposition. Which makes us feel very grubby.

But here's the thing. The agents pen their daily pile of rejection letters or, more accurately, they copy and paste their normal fluff, which they've decided meets the right tone of supportive and realistic. How many of them thought, in this instance, it might be nice to add a small line of humanity? Maybe “I'm so sorry to hear of your situation...” or “I wish Karin all the best for the future.” Not one. Not a fucking one.


Thursday 8 August 2013

And a Big Thank You to....

We'd like to thank a few people. Through the kindness of two marvellously helpful friends pestering their friends, and friends of friends, our novel has now been read by two real-life novelists.

SJ Bolton, Sharon to those of us close to her, likes our book. Which is nice. We like hers. Well, Karin does. I'd never heard of her. But since she recommended us to her agent she's rapidly become my favourite writer.

When I say she likes our book, I mean she likes the two chapters she's read. And when I say like, I mean she was blown away by the grand narrative sweep, the sizzle of the one-liners, the hair of the main characters. She couldn't put it down. Even with a gun. Although, being strictly accurate for a moment, what she actually said was “I genuinely enjoyed it.”

Emlyn Rees, who also co-wrote his early novels with one of those female thingys, has likewise read our opening chapters and said “I thought it was very good”. Proper writers truly have a way with words, don't they? That said, and delighted and encouraged as I am, I'm wondering if either quote has quite enough ooomph for the cover-blurb.


Anyway, a big thank you to Sharon and Emlyn.

An even bigger thank you to Jenny and Simon.